Mentoring: Sharing Experience & Wisdom

The idea of mentoring is likely foreign to most teens. Until now, their learning experiences have typically been from parents & grandparents, teachers, and coaches of youth sports programs. Mentoring offers a new learning dynamic for teens.

The Marketing of You establishes concepts and skills for facilitating peer advisement and peer-to-peer mentorship programs among students and for adult mentoring by business professionals from the local community. 

The Marketing of You introduces your teenagers to mentoring concepts and offers new perspectives and exposure to life skills supporting tolerance, empathy, emotional intelligence, critical thinking, decision making, leadership, financial literacy, social media management, and becoming a conversationalist with the confidence to succeed at every level. 

My initial attempt at mentoring took place in my late twenties as a volunteer with the Big Brother Program. I was married with 2 young daughters, attending graduate school, and working as an engineer in the chemical industry. Needless to say, I was a busy guy; achieving all my childhood dreams while still in my twenties. Suddenly, I was struck with the realization that I should pay it forward.

A softball teammate introduced me to the Big Brother program. He’d been a Big Brother for several years, and following an interview, a background check and being fingerprinted, I was introduced to my little brother, Bruce, a white, 12 year old boy living with his single mom in the “Little Italy” section of Wilmington, Delaware.

I met with Bruce and his mom to better understand their situation. Bruce's mom shared her concern that Bruce began hanging around with older teenagers in the neighborhood, and she felt these older boys were a negative influence. Bruce’s dad lived out of state with a new family and was not involved in Bruce’s life.

Bruce’s mom was hopeful someone could build a meaningful relationship with Bruce and be a positive influence in his life. I had to be that influence, and I immediately realized I was on my own. There was no training, no instruction manual, and no book like The Marketing of You available to offer guidance - for me, Bruce or his mom. I committed to spending 2-3 hours /week with Bruce.

And so with my commitments to my family, my career and my physical/mental fitness, I began the 2-3 hours/week I committed to Bruce. He joined my softball team as a bat boy and he helped me with house and garden chores at my home. I bought him an ice cream every now and then (usually as payment for his efforts), and my busy life became part of Bruce’s world.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that as bat boy, Bruce suddenly had responsibilities, however small, he had to live up to. Not only would I be upset if he failed, but so would the rest of the team. Bruce was introduced to my peers, a group of guys in their twenties, thirties and forties; a world he probably would not have had access to otherwise.

When Bruce was helping me and my family with house chores, he was getting a glimpse of family life different from his own. I always made sure he had chores and goals, something to work towards as he witnessed and experienced a lifestyle that he could dream to achieve. Little did I know I was modeling being busy and productive, exercising and socializing. Back then I realized mentoring is not about treating your mentee to a good time, relaxing on the beach or in general experiencing the “good life.” It’s much more about modeling the values and discipline to achieve it.

My relationship with Bruce ended with the untimely death of his Mom when he was 14. Bruce was reconnected with his Dad and his new family out of state, but when that didn’t work out, he was adopted into the family of his best childhood friend. He and I initially kept in touch through friends but our connection eventually faded and I lost touch.

Fast forward 8 years. It’s Christmas morning and I’m having a rough holiday; the first Christmas morning without my daughters following my divorce when the phone rang. Expecting it to be a family member reaching out to see how I was doing, I was tearfully stunned to hear a 22-year-old Bruce on the other end of the phone. He’d recently graduated from college, was about to start a job as a TV Sportscaster, and he reached out that Christmas to thank me for being among the people that made a difference in his life.

Today, Bruce is in his 60’s, married to his wife, Jen, and a father of 2 daughters of his own now attending college. Our story is one of the reasons I wrote The Marketing of You and created the mentoring program guide. I have had the good fortune to see the results of my mentoring a young teenager so many years ago. I routinely touch base with Bruce and he has expressed that although our time together was short lived, and I wasn’t continually present in his life, the standards I introduced to him during our time together stayed with him. In essence, he didn’t want to disappoint me even though I was no longer a central presence in his life.